roses and memories

you once asked me where to get blue roses.....i told u that it does not exist.....but recently i found shop selling it......

Remember you told me once, that im the most important person that keep you to move on......but i guess you dun need me anymore.....

your friends keep ask me to move on ......but how to move on without my soul where you still kept in u... i felt my heart is pounding slower each day.......

i love you for the rest of life......but would you want me back that is another turning point....

haha...my words end here......im blanked

i learned

i learned alot of things from you,i learn to love you more,i learn to cherish you more,i learn to set you free,i learn to be patient and i learn what does it feels like to lost somethIng that i can never able to get back !!!! thank you ,you make my thIs 5 years like im living in heaven.....but now i have to climb up and stand straight and make a path of myself........i wish to see u again ....one day .....and show u the different man i am..........u will always....always be in my heart !!!!!

not gonna blog for sometime

tmr i will be entering hospital.....wish me luck from gold coast.....i dun wan to make u worry bout me anymore.....

i never see u have so much fun before......

i have no regrets in loving you........see ya!!

sometimes

Sometimes chances comes only 1 time......i blew it off with everything i did or say......even I regret its too late.....

I should not let her leave me......haha...wat a childish words im saying now......
When a girl changes her love for someone....they will never love you anymore.......no matter how foolish things you tried will only push her to that person she love.....

I thought drinking lots of liquor would make me .....K.o and sleep........but somehow i still cant sleep.....i cried till i sleep......but every half an hour i woke up .....coz the memories we had was so deeply hammered in me......

I never regret loving you....never even one second.....

a few sentences in my memories

Because i love you....
Even if i lost you that night,
I will never forget you, because the love we used to had.

Everytime we exchange our short kisses under the moonlight,
affections would overflow with a gentle feeling that touch our heart.
Both your laughter and sad face, i had come to see them many times,
but that look which i saw for the first time still trule amazed me,
You always will hold the key to unlock my heart,
Softly, gently, my gratitude wont even reach your heart anymore.....

In the middle of this road that goes on endlessly, I wonder what are you thinking....
How are you doing ? How are you feeling ?
But don't ever forget, to let me stay silently by your heart

There was times that i used to mess around,
Hiding the pains in my heart, unable to release it to you that im afraid to hurt you,
Fully planning to become another boring plain adult,
but you always hold the "key" to my heart which make me feels happy,
I wonder if my word of "thanks" will ever reach your heart.

Looking back at the days we used to be togeher,
You are the one who filled my empty heart with happiness and take away my heartache,

I decided that I would always be the one to stand by your side in times of ssadness,
But Don't you ever forget, I will always love you and wait for you....

Even i lost you in this life......
I really will promise you that i will find you back in my next life......
I love you , Lau Jo Ann.....

Teddy bear

i made a bear for you........i stuff the cotton........i wear the shirt and the scarf.......

but im not able to give it to you......i just want you to hug thIs bear whenever you lonely

I just wan you to squeeze this bear whenever you feel sad........

i wan you to hug it everynite b4 u sleep........i stuff not so much cotton into the bear.......but its quite nice.......to hug and cuddle it

i hope one day when you are ready.........i will send it to you!!!

the bear with my heart

the place

Today i went to the place where we had our first kiss........and sat there for half an hour.....thinking and crying about the moments we used to have here........

In this world ....there is no girl greater and better than you......i know you may give up on me ...but i would always love you ........

I miss the way u cuddle me......i miss the way you touch me.......i miss the way you used to look at me ........

I know now u might be happy with the person u like.........the life you lead.........

All i can say is I LOVE YOU JOANN......i know i cant win back your heart instantly......but wait for me.........i will try to start all over again to mend your heart........im sure one day i will WIN your heart back to me.....!!!!!

the words i say

the words i say .....i wish i can take back........but its too late.....everything is too late now !!

I was so pushy, clingy to you......i make you feel so terrible.......Im the world most lousiest boyfriend......i admit it .....

F*** LA..............................F*** MY LIFE.....................

heartless

Im here to shout again ........

Life has been lonely without you !! The days and nights i been thinking bout the moments we been together.....the places we used to go ......I miss you, Jo Ann.

People say that you will never missed a person until she is gone......But i had missed you each moments you are not with me .......ever since i met you......

I been to the place where we had our first kissed today........i been to the cinema seat where we hold hands for the first time. I missed the moment when our lips touch.....i missed the hand where i used to hold......

The sushi restaurant that we used to go after college.....was no longer the place i wanted to go .....because i do not have you to snatch half of everything of mine.....and i missed the face that you used to make each time you eat......the cute smile of yours ....The fries that i ate today ....that you used to snatch from me.....and show your evil face to me.......i have to eat it all by myself.....the drinks that we used to share......i have to drink it all alone......

I love you, Jo ann....my heart belongs to you....Ever since the first time you hold my hand .....i have hand over my heart to you.....that is the reason why im empty here without you.......the first kiss we had......i have gave you my soul ......

If God would ever ask me, did you saw my lost angel......i would tell him i don't know......because i would like to keep you with me forever......till the moment that i die......i would want to see more of your smile......

If i got a chance.......i would like to hug you ....whisper to your ears......." I LOVE YOU JOANN FOREVER" ......" I REALLY MISSED YOU" and " I PROMISE YOU I WOULD BE WITH YOU AND NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE AGAIN".......

If only i could turn back the time

I wish I could turn back time....!!!! i really wish i can do that !!!
FML......

i would want to have you by myside now

Its difficult for you to accept me ......as you fear commitments again because you have afraid if you gave me another chance ....i would never change.......

Give me time i'll show you how much ive changed and then you judge me whether should you give me another chance.

" Dear God, i would like to asked you to give me a little more time, please don't take back the angel that u sent to me now" .....i would show you im worthy for her and please let me keep her till the time i die........

my love my heart my thoughts.....i will change for her......please keep her safe from harm.....

a reason to lose you

It has been days that ive been thinking what stupid fool i have been. Everyday is as difficult as it felt like im going to lose you. You are the first girl that i ever had ever wanted so much in my this entire life.

I learned to appreciate you more....i learned that i cant really live without you....i learned that i was so dependant on you.......i learned that i had actually took advantage of you not leaving me, i learned that i was immature.

With you at adelaide.....i truly miss the love we once had.....everyday has been a tough and difficult day for me to live my life. You are always there for me to guide me throught the hard times......I really miss you

It might be a little bit late for me, but i doubt that our relationship is that shallow, i doubt that the love in your heart for me is shallow. Ive been losing myself lately, assignments, classes and worrying bout you eventually shows me how important you are to me.

I often think that " Has God send one of his angel to me ?" , you are the best girl that ever treated me so good. I was the immature one that always take you for granted, didnt really give you those things you always wanted.

Everyday ive been walking like a guy without a soul......as part of my soul is kept within your heart when you left to Adelaide. I lost of your trust, hopes, love and faith in me. BUT if you could actually postpone the time, I will try my best to change into a better man for you.

I LOVE YOU EVERYDAY .....JOANN .......I ALWAYS DO

I really sorry about the things ive done

throughtout these years i have never been a good boyfriend to you. IM SORRY !....

without a word

Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took a just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me
Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised
Because it came without a word.

joann i truely love you.....

a song

when i let you go one step further,
my eyes overflowed with tearswhen you walk one step further,
more tears are fallingas move away to a placewhere i can't reach you,
even if i reach out my handi can't reach you,
i can only cry

what i should i do?
what should i do ?
you're leavingwhat i should i do?what should i do ?
you are leaving me
i love you,
i love you
i cry out to you
but you can't hear me
because i am only shouting in my heart

all day long i try to forget you,
but i think of you again
all day long i try to say goodbye,
but i think of you again
when you went to a place where i can't hold you,
even if my hand reaches out to you
i can't see you, i can only cry

what i should i do?
what should i do ?
you're leavingwhat i should i do?what should i do ?
I LOVE YOU ONLY
i love you,i love you
i cry out to you
but you can't hear me because
i am only shouting in my heart

BUT in the end will you turn back and come back to my arms.

I LOVE YOU LAU JO ANN !!!

I have been truly in love with a girl name Lau Jo Ann. Since the first glance through the side window, it truly reminds me the first smile you gave me. It brings us back to when we were only form 4, i been trying so hard to compete with a person that you really love. He beats me totally from head to toe. But in the end i still called you. The first msg that you said u love me, the first present you gave me has been always kept with me all these years. In this 5 years, i had the most pleasant and happiest moments with you.

The first time, you hold my hand in the movie of "Star Wars" has always been a success in my life. You gave me what most girls would not give their boyfriend. Ive been always trying to keep you beside me, always been trying to be with you as much as possible, always been trying to hold on and protect this relationship.

When i was young i used to be very hot tempered and protective. But after i met you, i find ways that being protective does not always nid to be hot tempered and beat up guys. You gave me hope to study harder and always been there for me. Remember that day during parents day, you was angry with me. I run all the way to 7 eleven for you just to get a lollipop for you, and you just throw it to the floor because its not the strawberry yogurt you wanted. I have to run all the way back to get it for you. You are the only girl will make me do this to you.

I always trying to show you how much i have loved you, but what i can show you is just actions. To you i cant really have the money to actually bring you to have a nice dinner in a high class restaurant. But it doesnt show that i don't love you at all. I have tried new kinds of food because of you, because you always have the good taste in nice restaurant.

Remember the first night you lie next to me, you was cuddling beside me. Those jokes and stories we share whole night. I bet you forget bout it all. I can never had the chance to tell you how important you are to me. But i know deep down in your heart you knows that my heart only belongs to you. There are times we used to listen to each other heart beat and ask question to hear that are we telling the truth or lie. It truely shows me how close we are.

5 years ago, i promised you that even i would lose you one day. I would make sure that you would become the most prettiest girl around. Yet today it really come true. Guys are flattering around you. You gain most attention in adelaide. Time passes when I actually now have to face what is standing ahead of me.

Ive not been the guy you wanted all this time. Im not handsome, not tall, not muscular and not smart. You gave me the light shining through my heart. Remember during form 1, during the year end, i asked you what is your nickname "heart light" means, you told me its from one book. I told you that you are actually the light in my heart. I was so naive and innocent that time, but i already know that you have always been the one for me.

We have been through alot of argues and quarrels and fights, but which couple does not argue and fight. I know you might not get what you want now, im trying very hard to achieve what your wishes. Time to time, eventhough its not expensive i still buy stuff for you. You always compare me with other couples other guys. It truely hurt me deep down, but i never once tried to say im better. Because im not those guys that could able to shower you gifts but instead i tried to shower you with all the love i could possible give you. Its something you don't use your eyes to see it but feel it. What more can you expect from a guy that you love once.

You once told me before you left to adelaide that this is a test for our relationship, a test for our love. The day that you goin Australia, i wanted to see you off the airport, but you told me not to come. Ive been crying all night long that i knew i would lose you forever. Its might fault that i did not trust you enough, its maybe because im not used to it that you are no longer by my side, not used to not seing you everyday. Its my fault that always say stuff that would actually hurt you deep down. You might be very lonely, guys have come to find you very frequent. As a boyfriend who would not get jealous if they really love their girlfriend. Which boyfriend would not worried bout their girlfriend going out late night in a foreign country. You might not think it that way, because you are there having all the freedom and no curfews.....

I really love you joann, i cant stop myself from worry what you did everyday. I may not be the best boyfriend to you in the world, might not compete myself towards other guys. Im a simple boyfriend, all i need you to love me that all.

Do you know that after u left, i felt like half of me has gone away and im just like an empty shell wondering around everyday. Have you worried bout me after you went to australia, have you think of me? I really want you to care for me that time. You are not the only one that is lonely.

Im trying so hard to get you back, but instead i pushing you further and further away towards another guy. Im such a failure. i cant even win back your heart. Im not blaming you for leaving me, im not blaming you that you love another guy now.

You have a hot temper to me only because im the closest person that you can actually share every of your thoughts to me. But have you ever truely spend moments listen to my problems. i don't blame you for seing me as a childish guy. Because day and night, i always trying to be cute and funny to make your mood better.

We have been through lots of sweet moments together. Im just now trying to win back your heart, and i dun mind compete again with the guy that night you with. I don't want to lose you Jo ann, i really don't want to lose you.

People told me to give up, let you go after you did that. But in my heart, even you did it, I really willing to forget about the past and start all over again. This time, i would show you how much better ive become.

The love that we build up isnt just from one day. I might be too late, but im don't mind chasing against time to get you back. Now you might sick of me, hate me, and might even find a new guy to avoid me.

I always say that you are pretty and people told you that you can always get a better one. But truely deeply in your heart, am i such a lousy boyfriend to you ? All i ever wanted in my life after having you as my girlfriend, is to make you happy and less stress everyday.

I love you Lau Jo Ann, I really really really "madly truely deeply" in love with you....eventhough i cant sing that song. But if there is one last chance left for me, i would not repeat the same mistakes ive done all these 5 years. Would you please give me a last try? would you give me last chance to be with you through the hard times? JUST ONE LAST CHANCE....to be your nini puchi once again.