Saturday, April 10, 2010

I LOVE YOU LAU JO ANN !!!

I have been truly in love with a girl name Lau Jo Ann. Since the first glance through the side window, it truly reminds me the first smile you gave me. It brings us back to when we were only form 4, i been trying so hard to compete with a person that you really love. He beats me totally from head to toe. But in the end i still called you. The first msg that you said u love me, the first present you gave me has been always kept with me all these years. In this 5 years, i had the most pleasant and happiest moments with you.

The first time, you hold my hand in the movie of "Star Wars" has always been a success in my life. You gave me what most girls would not give their boyfriend. Ive been always trying to keep you beside me, always been trying to be with you as much as possible, always been trying to hold on and protect this relationship.

When i was young i used to be very hot tempered and protective. But after i met you, i find ways that being protective does not always nid to be hot tempered and beat up guys. You gave me hope to study harder and always been there for me. Remember that day during parents day, you was angry with me. I run all the way to 7 eleven for you just to get a lollipop for you, and you just throw it to the floor because its not the strawberry yogurt you wanted. I have to run all the way back to get it for you. You are the only girl will make me do this to you.

I always trying to show you how much i have loved you, but what i can show you is just actions. To you i cant really have the money to actually bring you to have a nice dinner in a high class restaurant. But it doesnt show that i don't love you at all. I have tried new kinds of food because of you, because you always have the good taste in nice restaurant.

Remember the first night you lie next to me, you was cuddling beside me. Those jokes and stories we share whole night. I bet you forget bout it all. I can never had the chance to tell you how important you are to me. But i know deep down in your heart you knows that my heart only belongs to you. There are times we used to listen to each other heart beat and ask question to hear that are we telling the truth or lie. It truely shows me how close we are.

5 years ago, i promised you that even i would lose you one day. I would make sure that you would become the most prettiest girl around. Yet today it really come true. Guys are flattering around you. You gain most attention in adelaide. Time passes when I actually now have to face what is standing ahead of me.

Ive not been the guy you wanted all this time. Im not handsome, not tall, not muscular and not smart. You gave me the light shining through my heart. Remember during form 1, during the year end, i asked you what is your nickname "heart light" means, you told me its from one book. I told you that you are actually the light in my heart. I was so naive and innocent that time, but i already know that you have always been the one for me.

We have been through alot of argues and quarrels and fights, but which couple does not argue and fight. I know you might not get what you want now, im trying very hard to achieve what your wishes. Time to time, eventhough its not expensive i still buy stuff for you. You always compare me with other couples other guys. It truely hurt me deep down, but i never once tried to say im better. Because im not those guys that could able to shower you gifts but instead i tried to shower you with all the love i could possible give you. Its something you don't use your eyes to see it but feel it. What more can you expect from a guy that you love once.

You once told me before you left to adelaide that this is a test for our relationship, a test for our love. The day that you goin Australia, i wanted to see you off the airport, but you told me not to come. Ive been crying all night long that i knew i would lose you forever. Its might fault that i did not trust you enough, its maybe because im not used to it that you are no longer by my side, not used to not seing you everyday. Its my fault that always say stuff that would actually hurt you deep down. You might be very lonely, guys have come to find you very frequent. As a boyfriend who would not get jealous if they really love their girlfriend. Which boyfriend would not worried bout their girlfriend going out late night in a foreign country. You might not think it that way, because you are there having all the freedom and no curfews.....

I really love you joann, i cant stop myself from worry what you did everyday. I may not be the best boyfriend to you in the world, might not compete myself towards other guys. Im a simple boyfriend, all i need you to love me that all.

Do you know that after u left, i felt like half of me has gone away and im just like an empty shell wondering around everyday. Have you worried bout me after you went to australia, have you think of me? I really want you to care for me that time. You are not the only one that is lonely.

Im trying so hard to get you back, but instead i pushing you further and further away towards another guy. Im such a failure. i cant even win back your heart. Im not blaming you for leaving me, im not blaming you that you love another guy now.

You have a hot temper to me only because im the closest person that you can actually share every of your thoughts to me. But have you ever truely spend moments listen to my problems. i don't blame you for seing me as a childish guy. Because day and night, i always trying to be cute and funny to make your mood better.

We have been through lots of sweet moments together. Im just now trying to win back your heart, and i dun mind compete again with the guy that night you with. I don't want to lose you Jo ann, i really don't want to lose you.

People told me to give up, let you go after you did that. But in my heart, even you did it, I really willing to forget about the past and start all over again. This time, i would show you how much better ive become.

The love that we build up isnt just from one day. I might be too late, but im don't mind chasing against time to get you back. Now you might sick of me, hate me, and might even find a new guy to avoid me.

I always say that you are pretty and people told you that you can always get a better one. But truely deeply in your heart, am i such a lousy boyfriend to you ? All i ever wanted in my life after having you as my girlfriend, is to make you happy and less stress everyday.

I love you Lau Jo Ann, I really really really "madly truely deeply" in love with you....eventhough i cant sing that song. But if there is one last chance left for me, i would not repeat the same mistakes ive done all these 5 years. Would you please give me a last try? would you give me last chance to be with you through the hard times? JUST ONE LAST CHANCE....to be your nini puchi once again.

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